My Biggest Test Yet (This Time)

Being a yo-yo’er, I always feel the need to qualify statements about my weight loss endeavors, especially since the big plunge down to a size 6-8 in 1991/92 and subsequent regain, and loss, and gain, and loss… Fodder for another post.

Next week I will be staying with my parents in a drastic role reversal of care taking while my father gets ready for back surgery, and my mother recovers from an acute episode of G.O.K (a technical term for “god only knows”) when she became acutely disoriented requiring intensive family intervention – thank you my sister Denise. Visits “home” to family usually are fraught with food temptations that are beyond challenging. My parents are known for a strong propensity for sweets, and fried foods, and fat, and yummies lying everywhere.

My usual response for dealing with the stress of returning to their house and the mixture of all types of emotions often results in stuffing my brain with carbs, soothing myself into sweet oblivion, reassuring some part of me that all is o.k. (I promise this blog will not delve into childhood sh!t, so don’t worry.)  Since college, visits home always resulted in quick weight gains as I was unable and refused to say no to food offered by my family. I am an emotional eater and have little stimulus control. This upcoming visit is already provoking much emotion, mostly negative.  Who wants to see their vibrant parents aging? And HEY, I became a doctor, not a damn nurse; care taking is NOT my forte. But, love of my parents is never wavering.

So in the quest to plan for staying “on plan” in my new way of life, I must anticipate this challenge. OK, I can talk to my sisters and very close friends (this is a warning) about the angst I have while there. I can express my feelings in a journal to get out all the crud that will undoubtedly surface. I can commit to write in the blog – but since I limit my soul bearing here, this will be more monitoring of how the visit is going. I will keep monitoring my food and physical activity on my iTouch and use the computer at their apartment. I will walk or use the treadmill. I will shop so “my” food is in abundance while staying away from the candy, cookies, and assorted things I no longer eat, or really want. I hope that habit is truly squelched – but it’s only been 5 months since I quit eating sweets and red meat and breads, etc. Oh god, I need to make a longer list…

botero the letter

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