Turtleing Toward A Milestone

Now 1.6 pounds away from the half-way mark. That might not sound like much until one considers that I am losing 140 pounds. Yikes, that is a lot of weight. Seven months ago, I was blissfully unaware of my humongousity (a new word) – well, not unaware so much as avoiding my body.

It takes years and years of practice to not look below your neck when gazing in the mirror. Now I do see myself as an entire person, and it is surprising. Sometimes a good surprise, sometimes disgusting, but all part of integrating me — my body into my brain, my heart, my soul, my emotions. (I notice how even my writing is different when describing this process.) I feel mostly OK about what is happening to my body. Shrinking to more normal size is more than acceptable. Being able to shop in “normal” clothing stores is most rewarding, if a tad intimidating. How amazing that I would be intimidated by clothing stores given my history of thriving in the world of academic medicine! Moving more comfortably in the physical world is perhaps the most fun, truly fun, part of this journey. I was an athlete throughout high school and college — way before women athletes were “cool”. To be able to feel my muscles do as I ask, experience pain (no, not the pain from my knee injury) as they learn to stretch and grow, regain coordination that let me be an All American in volleyball – those are “good things” as Martha Stewart would say.

Seventy pounds is a nice number to reach on the losing end. The next 70 will be so much more rewarding, if I don’t kill my physical therapist before then.

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6 thoughts on “Turtleing Toward A Milestone

  1. That is a lot and you should be very proud of yourself! I will tell you that in all my yo-yo years I never had that much to lose and still struggled. And struggled. Keep up the great work:)

  2. Thank you for linking up and sharing with us! You are doing so well! I can’t wait to read more of your journey!

  3. I found your blog through Cheaphealthchanges and Lady Bloggers. Keep up the good work. I like the term “turtling”–so evocative with the change. Stop over to Confessions of a Startled Fat Woman if you feel like it. http://LiveStartled.com

    “Moving comfortably” is a phrase you used that will stay with me. That’s what i’m after as well. With me, it’s pedaling comfortably on my road bike and not having my knees hit my stomach.

  4. Congratulations!! That’s just amazing. I love how you talk about how you just avoided looking in the mirror or feeling your body but now you finally are. It’s so personal and raw, and so inspiring!

  5. Almost halfway… I know that feeling of being so close to a mini-goal. 🙂
    I’ve been thinking about what you said about not looking below the neck in the mirror. I did that, too. In fact, I think I tend to still do it… I am finally seeing changes in my face, but not yet in my body. So I purposefully avoid too much “looking”, because I don’t want to get discouraged. Yep, I’ve got a ways to to. 🙂

    You are doing so well. I like your attitude that the next 70 will be even more rewarding!

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