Not much has been going on in the Old Pueblo (the traditional name for Tucson) or in my brain, unfortunately. Along with our summer thunderstorm season, I’ve hit a bit of a low pressure in my spirits and haven’t had the inclination to post or even write outside of blogging, which is probably when I need to do so the most.
Thanks tremendously for the caring e-mails and phone calls checking on me.
Here’s an update. Breast cancer Stage 0 is a breeze – breast cancer surgery for some folks completely sucks. At least the reconstruction process is sucking. I continue to have constant discomfort from the tissue expanders that are meant to stretch a space under under my pectoralis major muscles for soft, comfortable silicone implants – in another 3 months! One more fill of saline tomorrow then waiting for the final surgery while the stretching and internal repairing continues. My body still doesn’t want to heal the incisions completely, and I remain confined to no vigorous activity, especially in the heat. HEY! I live in Southern Arizona. Guess I could become a mall walker – as if….
I think the lack of activity is contributing to my brain funk – that and my difficulty with sleep because of chronic discomfort (hard to call it pain when I don’t take any pain meds). Driving is unpleasant because the foobs mash into my arms when turning the steering wheel. Got a little rap for ya – use your best urban poet voice and repeat after me: I got tits in mah pits and drivin’ is fo shitz
Added to the reconstruction blues was the first anniversary of my mom’s death (how dare she die right before my birthday?). Maybe this little down turn in my spirits isn’t so hard to understand after all.
I continue to lose weight, but that doesn’t bring much satisfaction because I just don’t feel healthy sitting around most of the time except for stretching and brief walks. (Now down 134 pounds – 9 pounds lighter than at the time of surgery 2 months ago.)
So, that’s where I am, in limbo-land trying to regain my sense of humor, some hint of positivity, and a chance to be active again. Oh yeah, not feeling these foreign bodies inside my chest would be a huge (and I mean HUGE as in they are way too big) step toward feeling better.
How do you climb out of brain funks, assuming you have ever had one?
Special thanks to our chihuahua-terrible mix for allowing his most honorable visage to represent my current state of whatever.