Twenty Years

How thoughtless of me not to write anything (other than “tits”) about our 20th anniversary. Blame it on my post-operative state, although I managed to get a post out that day. Say I am just respecting the privacy of my oh-so-private partner, but we certainly do not hide our relationship any more. Blame society for not allowing us to be legally married in our country – 6 states do not count, sorry – and prevent us from fully celebrating our commitment and the joining of our families. (We have a mixed marriage – she is a Yankee; I am a Texan.) Blame me for not being as bold, as brave as I think that I am for not blogging about our 20-years of marriage-like relationship. For not writing about the weekend hike we took in 1991 in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, staying at Greenleaf hut, and early the next morning walking to an overlook called “Eagle’s Nest”. Fog snaked below us across the craggy ridgeline. The glorious quilt of fall colors in Franconia Notch that we had hiked through the day before was barely visible below. The sky was light blue, totally clear. We stood just at tree line where only stunted, deformed vegetation, called Krummholz, grows to the height of the snow pack. In a circle of candles and rocks, we shared our vows then each spoke a personal commitment of love. I cried. Sue laughed. We are still laughing and crying.

Sue & Mattie 2005

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16-17 (What can I say, I grew up the daughter of a minister, and Ruth’s words to Naomi always haunted me. Yes, I used this in my part of our ceremony.)

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14 thoughts on “Twenty Years

  1. Congratulations to you both on your 20th anniversary! Your story is beautiful and your commitment to one another is to be admired.

    That Bible passage is haunting. You are a daughter of a minister – I have a few friends who have father’s who were or are pastors. From what they have said it was like growing up in a “fish bowl” and you were expected to be perfect since everyone was watching you.

    I am loving that photo!

    • Being a preacher’s kid was a blessing and a curse. I had an immediate extended family through the wonderful (mostly) people in my Dad’s churches, but it was living in a fishbowl. The words of Ruth to Naomi – they are so beautiful and represent what I think of in a life-long commitment. I don’t intend to stir up a Biblical exegesis 😉

  2. What a lovely photo of Sue and Mattie! And beautiful sentiments from your heart!

    My OT knowledge is woefully lacking (written as if my NT knowledge is any better), so I’m especially grateful that you shared that passage from Ruth.

    • I am SO not an OT gal, but there is wondrous poetry (as well as slavery, killing your kids, bashing in the heads of your neighbors, declarations of abominations like eating shrimp, etc.) Of course the NT has it’s own complications with the writings of a crazy man ending it (OK, maybe just hallucinating) plus all of the — wait, I said I wasn’t going to get into this… Religion and politics, I try to keep those topics limited to my cynical Twitter and FB feeds.

  3. OMG, is Mattie wearing Goggles? I love it! What a cute picture of Sue and the pup, and what a sweet post. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!!!

    • That was Mattie in her glory days wearing Doggles 🙂 Lucy has inherited them, but she doesn’t need them as much since I gave up my big city BMW convertible for an off road truck here in Arizona.

  4. We have an October anniversary, too. Such a great time of year for a celebration. Your ceremony sounds wonderful and I have always loved the passage you used (as a non-religous Jew I am all OT, I suppose…)

    Someday the rest of the country will wake up and see that love is love and that is what matters.

    That photo is priceless!

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